So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
