I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
