New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
