My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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