i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
