I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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