yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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