My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
