Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
