ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
