We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
so let's talk penis.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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