I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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