And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
