i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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