i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
