please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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