so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize