how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
