i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
