What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
