Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize