the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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