People with herpes should wear stickers.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
