That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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