I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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