I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
