he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
