I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Drunk walkin through police station. America
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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