I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
