Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
