That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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