happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
