His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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