I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Randomize
