Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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