I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So squirting runs in the family.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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