yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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