covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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