No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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