I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
