she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
