Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
