well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
