If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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