My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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