I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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