Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
