the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
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