honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
