I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
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