just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize