thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
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