Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
