THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
