I'm so fucking centered right now
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
