What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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