in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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