is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
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