If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
