make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize