What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
