I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize